"I liked hearing from someone who had actually been through it"
Year 8 Pupil, St Georges School
Photograph: 3 women

Real life

Helen’s story

Five years ago I was at college, doing performing arts. My ambition in life was to be an actress I was a Christian and had just decided to work at my church part time in the youth department. I had loads of friends and seemed really happy, but underneath all that, I had what I thought were just normal insecurities.

I wanted to be thinner, better looking, better at flirting, better at dressing the right way... In truth, most girls I knew did have all these insecurities to one degree or another, but they were not being so held back by them. I thought all these things would make me more successful, more popular, and would make me feel better. I decided that the first thing I needed to change about myself was my body. I went on a diet.

When I moved to Liverpool for University, I wanted to make a "fresh start", but my fresh start soon went very wrong. I was already obsessed with dieting and losing weight and I thought that moving away would help me assert my independence and loose more weight. I didn't count on losing control of this, finding myself feeling depressed and coping with an eating disorder.

I found university very lonely and would favour nights alone in my room with a lot of food to nights out with my friends. I had already discovered my control mechanism of vomiting any food I overate before I left home and now I began to use this more and more.

My self- esteem plummeted and I felt completely out of control.

I had been a Christian for four years and I didn't want this to stop. I hadn't connected my "problem" with anything else going on in my life, like a confusing boyfriend, or moving away from home, and I certainly hadn't connected God to the situation. I went to church and was part of a cell group but it took me a while to admit to anyone there I had a problem. When I did eventually, it opened the floodgates. I spent the best part of nine months talking about it, crying and praying about it. I was getting more and more out of control. Despite really wanting to be on the road out of my disorder, I got a lot worse before I got better.

But I did get better. Once God was in the picture I could call on Him for help and draw a huge amount of hope and strength from Him. Eventually my thought patterns changed. I stopped looking at myself in disgust, I stopped my old eating habits and I began to crawl out of my depression.

It was a daily battle, everyday I had to choose whether to go God's way and fight it or go my way and slip back into my old ways.

Thankfully I chose to go God's way. I began to understand that who I am is not what I look like - who I am is on the inside - it's my character, my personality, my heart, the way God made me and what I do with that, that really counts and really lasts.

Cat's Story

I was brought up in a Christian family and to everyone I was happy and confident, but deep down I was very insecure. I went to church every week and enjoyed school, but struggled with low self-esteem, loneliness, and worried that people didn't like me. I plunged myself into a busy lifestyle doing different sports and activities every night to hide it. I felt happier being busy and being around people, I became a people-pleaser. I just wanted to be accepted and I was scared I wouldn't be.

As I got older this affected me in a different way, when I was 17 I started trying to find my security and self worth through relationships with boys, from the approval and acceptance I thought they brought. I started going out with boys who weren't Christians and as a result it led to more problems and unhappiness. I was still trying to live as a Christian, but with these relationships I compromised. I struggled with going too far with guys to make me feel good, constant jealousy and became so focused on the relationship that I looked for that alone to give me everything I needed.

Seeing the relationships for what they were was the hardest thing. I had become so involved in them that I was no longer living for God. I didn't see them as being wrong and didn't particularly want to give them up.

Two years ago I was in a relationship I thought I was happy with, but I was being challenged and I knew deep down that I couldn't carry on like this and I wanted to get close to God again. I knew the only way was to give it up completely and give my whole life back to God - God didn't want just a part of me! I was challenged to "step out of my comfort zone" and even though I didn't want to, I had to end the relationship. I couldn't have done it on my own strength, but when I gave it to God, with Him it became possible.

When I was out of the relationship I finally felt free and decided that it would be the last time I used relationships to make me feel better, I received God's forgiveness for the ways I'd messed up in my past relationships and grew close to Him again. It was definitely the best decision I have ever made and since then God has blessed me in so many ways. If we give our life 100% to God we will see that His plan for our life is much better than our own!